Austin, We Need To Talk About Your Ice Cream Pint Selection

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader) 08/05/2015 at 16:26 • Filed to: rants, ice cream, foodlopnik

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I have two favorite standby flavors that I usually crave when I want some ice cream: mint chocolate chip or some kind of raspberry/blackberry/mountain forest berry that doesn’t start with straw-, blue-, or cran-.

I have no problems finding many variations of mint chocolate chip here. Blue Bell’s version was legendary before that whole listeria outbreak mess, plus there are a million good, local and regional takes on the fact that mint + chocolate = delicious.

Berries, though? Nope. Can. Not. Find. In. Texas. I’ve had multiple searches for a good berry ice cream at the usual suspects, and NOPE.

I’ve been able to find a berry flavor with chunks of cobbler crust in it. That’s not what I wanted. If there’s anything interrupting the smooth, creamy texture of mountain huckleberries, sugar and cow-baby juice, it should be the actual berries in the ice cream. Other than that, no can do. I’m more likely to find prickly pear gelato than I am blackberry deliciousness here. Prickly pear gelato is delicious, but that’s not what I’m craving here.

I finally found an Oregon Mixed Berry flavor the other day—in vegan coconut milk based ice cream. It’s a company out of Oregon, so go figure. Maybe I just need to live somewhere with forests, berries and stuff again, man. In the meantime, there’s an F1 track here, so I can’t complain too much.

Vegan ice cream is great! I don’t fart as much, plus this is coconutty on top of the berry flavor and is pretty tasty. Thing is, when I’m eating a pint of ice cream, I’m usually sad or meh or whatever, and I don’t particularly care about sitting in a cloud of my own flatus when I do it. I can rip all the heinous toots I want, because I’m alone and probably watching stupid videos on the Internet with Fluffy Bunny and Jari-Matti Puffalump, neither of whom have a sense of smell. In fact, making fart noises would probably even cheer me up.

The texture is just different enough that I’d really like it if Tillamook or Turkey Hill sold their wares farther south. Both have been spotted in Texas, although not everywhere on Turkey Hill’s vendor list seems to actually carry it. The Internet said that our Fiesta market was supposed to have Turkey Hill, which has a blackberry ice cream that is real, and spectacular. Nope. Struck out. Sad times.

When I need (yes, need) a tub full of sugary goodness, I’m usually going to go for some kind of berry flavor. Strawberry doesn’t count. Give me some real dang berries in ice cream that I can buy from the store when I’m feeling meh, dagnabbit.

Photo credit: Turkey Hill (delicious unobtanium)

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Stef Schrader likes berries and fish, neither of which can be found here. Grumble.

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StingrayJake > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:34

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THE BLUE BELL DROUGHT CONTINUES

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:35

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Do they sell ice cream at the Austin farmer’s market? It seems like they might.

KyngOfPop > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:36

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Omg this stuff is so GOOD!!! I can eat it by the tub loads smh. They also have a Mango flavor that's light on. Flavor but decently good.

pjhusa > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:36

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I thought that that was red bean, for a sec.

Green tea Ice Cream is still my favorite.

nermal > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:37

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There’s no place for fruit or any other vegetative matter in ice cream, even in the form or artificial flavoring like most of it is.

Heath Bars on the other hand, there’s plenty of room. I prefer the Vanilla option, but can do the Coffee option if needed. It’s best in that slighty-melted-from-the-drive-home-from-the-store state. Best bet is to grab a spoon and devour the entire container.

EL_ULY > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:38

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Less fruit flavors, more cookie, cake, fudge (lol), and brownie!

lol vegan, so Austin :]

Textured Soy Protein > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:39

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If you’re willing to put up with chocolate chips interrupting your berry-flavored ice cream products, you should be able to find Talenti Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip gelato in most places, including Target, Safeway and Walmart (according to the Talenti store locator).

As a Wisconsin resident, I’ve never encountered a lack of ice cream options. But I’m lactose intolerant and there’s only one grocery store near me that sells Tofutti .

Excessive fartification after eating ice cream means you are likely, to a degree, lactose intolerant. This is true in 60% of all human adults. Most of them don’t know it because they weren’t lactose intolerant as kids, and lactose intolerance often presents itself later in life.

The first time I took a Lactaid pill with ice cream, it was a life changing event. Lactaid pills can be a bit pricey even in generic form, but Costco has boxes of something like 180 generic Lactaid pills for 10 bucks.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:42

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Come to Cincinnati, where we actually know how to make icecream.

PatBateman > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 16:42

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Alternative for you: Teo Gelato, on W. 38th (across the street from Seton). I'm sent on a gelato run there almost every time I visit Austin.

nermal > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/05/2015 at 16:46

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Need verification of this from somebody that is not a Cincinnati local. I’m told that everybody’s taste buds have been incinerated by the chili there - Sure, ice cream is cold and will ease the chili fire in your colon, that doesn’t say anything about its actual goodness though....

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > nermal 08/05/2015 at 16:53

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http://www.foodnetwork.com/shows/top-5-re…

Aglamesis Bro’s is way better than Greater’s too.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 18:00

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I’m a big fan of Alden’s blackberry ice cream. (Their other flavors, not so much.) It’s an alluring combination of creamy and — for lack of a better word — juicy. But they might sell half-gallons only, no pints. Try the store locator on their web site, maybe?

http://aldensicecream.com/

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 18:33

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Have you ever had a mint chip milkshake? That stuff is heaven in a cup

Stef Schrader > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/05/2015 at 19:43

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zomg that looks fantastic

Stef Schrader > Textured Soy Protein 08/05/2015 at 19:44

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A gelato would end up the same as the vegan ice cream, though: this is tasty! Still want ice cream.

As for the poots, I just embrace it. Fear my the rumbles of my butt, for they bring the stank.

Textured Soy Protein > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 19:51

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Assuming this is the Oregon Mixed Berry coconut thingie you ate, I’ve had other flavors of both So Delicious and Talenti Gelato.

So Delicious has a kind of sorbet-like consistency because coconut milk doesn’t have quite the fat content of dairy or soy products.

Talenti Gelato is less like gelato from a proper gelato shop and more like really good freezer-case ice cream.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 20:54

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If you ever make it up here go to the place in the bottom 2 pictures. You will not be disappointed

Stef Schrader > Textured Soy Protein 08/05/2015 at 21:42

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Iiiiiiiinteresting. (Yep. It’s the So Delicious.)

I’ll have to give it a try regardless, because berries + anything = usually good.

Stef Schrader > PatBateman 08/05/2015 at 21:44

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Gelato, though. Gelato is good, and Dolce Vita is also good ‘round here, but sometimes I want to sit at home and fumigate my apartment with my own toots, eating directly out of the container. Usually I’m craving normal ol’ ice cream, not so much gelato. Too many good gelato shops close by to sit at home and eat more gelato.

Stef Schrader > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s 08/05/2015 at 21:45

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hrrrrrrrnnnnnnnng

Stef Schrader > KyngOfPop 08/05/2015 at 21:47

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ooooooooh

10/10, would eat

Stef Schrader > Svart Smart, traded in his Smart 08/05/2015 at 21:52

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! I think I saw this at Whole Foods tonight.

No blackberry (at least currently in stock; I looked). :o( Austin, why?!

PatBateman > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 21:56

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Teo sells by the big ass container. Buy it now, eat it in mass quantities later.

Stef Schrader > StingrayJake 08/05/2015 at 22:02

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Y’know, I don’t remember Blue Bell having a non-strawberry/non-blueberry berry flavor. The mint chocolate chip was so good, I specifically needed some when we were all snowed in at Eagles Canyon. Ain’t racin’. Time for ice cream.

The Googles say there was a blackberry cobbler, but that’s got same issue as the Steve’s blackberry pie/cobbler flavor: you put other stuff in my berry heaven, and I’m not a fan.

There’s blueberry cheesecake, too, but meh blueberries. The weakest of all muffin fruits. Still probably good, though, albeit demonstrably different than what I am specifically craving for my pie-hole.

Stef Schrader > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/05/2015 at 22:07

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Knowing Austin, it’s probably organic vegan gelato. This isn’t a big ice cream town. Not much room for cows, I guess.

I always say I need to go, though. There’s one right near my house. I really have no excuse, besides “I should probably fix the 944’s muffler and alignment instead of stocking up on homemade mayonnaise and bluebonnet-scented goat’s milk soap.”

Stef Schrader > EL_ULY 08/05/2015 at 22:09

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Man, we are solid with the chocolate/caramel/nut end of the ice cream spectrum.

Granted, I think Yuengling’s is the best commercially available ice cream I’ve had (which I also can’t get in TX grumblesnort) and they don’t even have a berry flavor AFAIK. (Doesn’t matter. The espresso chocolate chip there is a win enough.)

EL_ULY > Stef Schrader 08/05/2015 at 22:19

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Which flavors of which brand are you looking for exactly? If i can find them here in Houston, i’ll take some to COTA for Lone Star LeMans a la paletero style for you.

Clown Shoe Pilot > Stef Schrader 08/06/2015 at 00:01

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This isn’t what you asked about but I’m going to plug it anyway, because it’s great. You can get it at Target, and when you’re done you’ve got a handy little plastic container with a nice screw top for the garage. It’s really a win-win.

Yes, it’s gelato. Yes, it’s another variation on mint chocolate chip which you’re not having any trouble finding.

I dig this stuff though. Hard core. When Blue Bell starts back up (and Alabama plant got the green light I read) I’ll probably still get this mint-chocolate, because I really like it.

However, I’d do unspeakable things for some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla right now. It’s been too long. Also, if it gets to be Christmas and I can’t get some Blue Bell peppermint ice cream, I will be quite upset.

Stef Schrader > EL_ULY 08/06/2015 at 02:14

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Hehe, Turkey Hill blackberry would rule, but I think it’d melt in my car before I got home!

Stef Schrader > StingrayJake 08/06/2015 at 02:15

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WAIT WAIT WAIT

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?…

NOT FOR MUCH LONGER ZOMG

Stef Schrader > Clown Shoe Pilot 08/06/2015 at 02:16

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BRUH. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?…

(I’ve linked this once, but I must spread the good news. Also, that gelato looks like win.)

spanfucker retire bitch > Stef Schrader 08/06/2015 at 07:56

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That is horrible. I can’t imagine going through such ice cream withdrawl. If you’re ever up in WNY - and after you’ve gotten your Tim Hortons fix - go to Lake Effect ice cream. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Edit: I almost forgot about their ice cream sandwiches too. They’re about an inch thick and comprise of ice cream between two cookies that are each about 5” in diamater. My aunt actually makes the cookies that they use.

http://www.lakeeffecticecream.com/

They call this the “Flavor Flight of Five” after the local canal locks.

Speaking of berries, if you’ve never had Logaberry pop, milkshakes, or ice cream before - you owe it to yourself to try it.

EL_ULY > Stef Schrader 08/06/2015 at 09:18

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If you go to the website and search “Where to buy” in Houston.... there is a trillion places here. Yet, all I see is Black Raspberry.... not sure if that’s it. If your down, a little dry ice in a well insulated Igloo zip bag should hold you through Lone Star LeMans :]

Stef Schrader > EL_ULY 08/06/2015 at 14:22

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That is it! zomg

I’m also heading to east TX help my parents clean out stuff for a renovation next week. I may have to find a Kroger?

EL_ULY > Stef Schrader 08/06/2015 at 14:36

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Yup yup, or a Fiesta. Seems like Kroger aka K-Roger will be your best bet :]

bubblestheturtle > Stef Schrader 08/07/2015 at 17:58

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This is Texas. If Blue Bell doesn't make it, you don't need it.